• December 11, 2018

How Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Is Likely To Die

INTP: Accidentally sets themselves on fire in a freak science experiment. Starts taking notes about the fire’s rate of burning and consequently forgets to put it out.

ESTP: Tries base jumping without any training because it looked straight-forward enough.

INFJ: Starves to death in a hunger strike to raise awareness about the dire state of society.

ENFJ: Meets another ENFJ and accidentally crushes each other from hugging too aggressively.

INFP: Accidentally walks into an open manhole while caught up in a particularly enthralling daydream.

ISTJ: Is killed fighting for their country. Or state. Or son’s little league team. Really, any cause that vaguely needs a hero to die for it.

ENTP: An elaborate magic trick gone wrong.

ENFP: Decides to go on a “Fun Jungle Adventure!” alone, without a map, and never returns.

ENTJ: Is elaborately murdered by an underling who wanted their job.

ISFJ: Donates a vital organ to someone who needed it more than they did.

ESFP: Stays awake for five straight days because there were a lot of great parties going on and they had FOMO. Dies from exhaustion.

ESTJ: Is attacked by a group of miscreant youths whom they stop to lecture on the street.

INTJ: Dies in a car accident caused by the fact that they were driving too cautiously.

ISTP: Joins an underground Fight Club to unleash their bottled-up feelings toward ‘The Man’ and loses the wrong fight.

ESFJ: Is murdered for accidentally blabbing the wrong person’s secret.

ISFP: Stages their own death to avoid confrontation with a loved one. Might still be alive out there somewhere – we’ll never really know.

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