• April 22, 2019

I WON’T SAY SORRY FOR WALKING AWAY

I won’t say sorry for walking away after everything you have put me through.

I won’t say sorry for finally standing up for myself, for deciding that I deserve better, after years of dealing with your poor treatment.

I won’t say sorry for developing a backbone, for speaking up when you walk over me instead of blindly letting you have your way like I have in the past.

I won’t say sorry for leaving you alone because all of this time we were together I felt like I was alone.

I won’t say sorry for learning to love myself — even though that means learning to love you less.

You are the only one who should be apologizing. You should be saying sorry for all the nights you left my texts unanswered, all of the mornings you gave me the silent treatment, all of the afternoons you canceled plans because a better option appeared.

You should be saying sorry for making me feel insecure, making me doubt my worth, making me wonder whether you were going to leave any second now because you never seemed happy, it seemed like I was never doing enough.

I won’t say sorry for walking out of your world. You should be saying sorry for driving me away. I might be the one leaving, but you were the one who forced this to happen. You left me with no other choice.

I am not going to say sorry for doing something I should have done a long time ago. I am not going to say sorry for ‘screwing you over’ when I gave you a million chances before this. I am not going to say sorry for placing myself in front of you for the first time in my entire life.

The only person I am going to apologize to is myself. I am sorry for wasting so much time on the wrong person. I am sorry for settling for less than I deserve. I am sorry for taking such a long time to realize what I deserve.

I am sorry about the mean little voice in the back of my head that convinced me every fight was my fault. I am sorry about the way I would look at myself in the mirror, as if I was worth nothing. I am sorry about how much time I spent hating myself while I was busy trying to make you love me.

I am sorry about all of the friends I drifted apart from because you were the only thing I cared about back then. I am sorry about all of the tears I cried because I thought you mattered much more than you did. I am sorry for accepting the way you treated me instead of breaking away earlier and searching for someone who actually treated me right.

I am sorry for a lot of things — but I am not sorry for walking away. I will never apologize for doing the right thing for me

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