• April 23, 2019

Secrets And Lies Kill Relationships; No Matter How Careful You Are, You Will Get Caught

 

There is always going to be a need to establish a sense of trust in a relationship. And trust is something that can easily be broken with secrets and lies. When you keep secrets from your partner; when you lie to them, it can really damage your relationship beyond repair. Sure, you can think that you’re doing your partner a favor by telling them “white lies” that will protect them from their own feelings. You tell them that you’re “fine” even though you’re not because you don’t want to have an uncomfortable discussion about your feelings. You might think that you are saving your partner from the awkwardness of it all, but the truth is that you aren’t doing your relationship any favors. In a real intimate relationship, you need to have a certain sense of emotional honesty and sincerity with one another.

You’re going to need to be open to each other about who you really are as individuals. Any form of deceit is an act of betrayal on your relationship. You have to know being honest with your partner doesn’t just mean you refraining from telling lies. You are still engaging in acts of deception when you choose to withhold the truth from your partner. When you make really vague and ambiguous statements in your relationship, that is a direct form of manipulation and deceit. It doesn’t matter if your intentions are good; the execution is just wrong and it could put the entire relationship in jeopardy. You have to understand that your partner has the right to know about everything that surrounds your life and relationship.

When you choose to keep that person in the dark, you are compromising their freedom of choice. You aren’t giving them all the necessary information that they need to make an educated choice about how to move forward in your relationship. You may consider yourself to be quite honest; but if you are still withholding a lot of things from your partner, then you are engaging in acts of dishonesty. You are being cowardly by not revealing your whole self; by keeping some aspects of your life hidden. It’s always going to take a certain level of courage to be vulnerable and real in a relationship, and that’s why only the bravest of us are able to find success in love.

When you tell a lie, you might think that you are doing something good for the relationship. When you keep secrets from your partner, you might think that you are benefiting your relationship somewhat. But you have to realize that all of these come at a cost. You might be weighing the risks in your head when you’re thinking about coming clean and being honest. And you seriously have to take some time to ponder these risks. Your lies and secrets can harm your relationship in ways that you might have never even imagined. When you lie to your partner, you are depriving your relationship of any real closeness and intimacy. You have to know that real intimacy is only built on authenticity and sincerity.

You can’t be intimate with your partner unless you allow yourself to be vulnerable towards them; unless you really open yourself up on an emotional level. To add on to that, you are probably going to have to spend so much time and energy on trying to cover your lies up. You are going to try your absolute hardest to make sure that you don’t get found out. And you might even have to tell even more lies to cover up your current lies. And what ends up happening is the lies are going to start mounting up. And you’re going to bury the truth so much to the point that it becomes an extra stressor for you and your relationship. You should also know that most lies unravel eventually, and the truth is going to come out in one way or another.

You’re going to be filled with so much guilt over keeping your partner in the dark. You’re going to understand that you should have respected them enough to actually give them the truth that they have always been deserving of. And by that time, it will have been too late. They are going to find out that you lied to them and the trust that was formed between the two of you are going to be broken. And the thing about trust is that once it’s broken, it’s just never going to be the same. You are never going to be able to bring your relationship back to the way that it once was. And that’s a shame. Remember that the repercussions of telling the truth and coming clean are a lot better than the repercussions of telling a lie and being found out.

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